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Grandpa: Don't come in here honey, I just passed a silent one.
Grandma: You need a new battery for your hearing aid.
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Why did the farmer win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.
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What do you call a cheese that isn't yours?
NACHO CHEESE!
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My wife told me, “ Don’t get upset if someone calls you fat.”
“You’re much bigger than that.”
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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