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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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Want to hear a pizza joke?
Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
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What did the banana say to the judge?
"I'm sure to win this case on a-peel!"
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I like my women the way I like my coffee.
I don't like coffee.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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