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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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We should have known communism wouldn't work
There were so many red flags.
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Why are mints so smart?
Because mints make cents.
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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