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Do you know why I can’t be buried in a cemetery?
Because I’m still alive.
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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in America. If I was born anywhere else...
My birthday would be 24/7.
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Four out of five people suffer from diarrhea.
Which means one enjoys it.
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I dated a twin once...
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