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Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great.
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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Found out I’m allergic to ceiling mounted dart boards
They always make me throw up
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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