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Did you hear about the marble statue that left her husband?
She was tired of being taken for granite.
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"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
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Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.
Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
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My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today
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