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Did you hear about the marble statue that left her husband?
She was tired of being taken for granite.
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
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I came up with a new word yesterday:
Plagiarism.
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Do you know why you can't hear pterodactyls urinate?
Because they are extinct.
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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