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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, you're an ambulance!
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The guy who stole my diary has died.
My thoughts are with his family.
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When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
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I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.
Today, I put in my too-weak notice.
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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