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After all these years, my wife still thinks I’m sexy.
Every time I walk by she says, “What an Ass.”
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A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
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Why do mountains never get cold?
Because they have snow-caps!
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At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...
But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins!
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What color do cats like best?
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