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After all these years, my wife still thinks I’m sexy.
Every time I walk by she says, “What an Ass.”
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Q: What's the worst thing about ancient history class?
A: The teachers always Babylon.
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Do you know why I love rocks?
They’re very sedimental to me.
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy.
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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