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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He shouts, “A beer please! And one for the road!”
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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
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I had to give up on my idea to create a miniature flamethrower
It was burning a hole in my pocket
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My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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