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A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender: I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.
Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
My wife left me because I’m too insecure
No wait, she’s back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.
Sorry I’m late.
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