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You know what really sucks?
Vacuum cleaners.
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Wife: I thought we agreed on three beers and be home by ten.
Husband: I'm sorry, honey, I always get those two mixed up.
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Have you heard of the restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
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My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends. So she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face, when they all disagreed.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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