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Why was the broom late for work?
He overswept
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The doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body.
Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
She said “urinate”
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My twin brother called me from prison.
He said, “You know that thing where we finish each other’s sentences?”.
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Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
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