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Why is no one friends with Dracula?
Because he's a pain in the neck.
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[Walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough,
but than you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
He was too far out, man.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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