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Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
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Migraines aren't real.
They're all in your head.
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What did one toilet say to another?
You looked flushed.
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Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night...
Should’ve put it on aloha setting!
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
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