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Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their head is really far away.
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The doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body.
Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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I once knew a guy who was afraid of milk.
He was quite the coward.
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Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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