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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because it wasn't peeling very well
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What does a house wear?
Address
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My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, “You weren’t even listening just now, were you?!”
I thought, “Man, what a weird way to start a conversation”
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Went fishing with my son this morning ...
Didn't catch anything ... I'll fish with worms next time
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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