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What type of magazines do cows read?
Cattlelogs.
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Four years ago today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times.
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"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing..
Unless you're at a funeral.
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How does the Moon cut his hair when the Sun gets in the way?
Eclipse it.
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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