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What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
A trophy.
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I made a graph showing my past relationships..
It was an ex axis and a why axis.
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What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?
A civil engineer
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My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.
She just can’t seem to let it go.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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