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What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say
that our baby was in his one womb apartment.
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What does a vegan zombie say?
"Graaains! Graaaains!"
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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