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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
"Oh snap!"
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What do women and google have in common?
They don't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
Get well soon.
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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