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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.
She's still not talking to me.
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I don’t get why people hate necromancers so much.
Can’t a guy just raise a family in peace?
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
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I was talking to a rancher today. I said, “I have 54 sheep. Can you round them up for me?”
“Sure,” he said. “60.”
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What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
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