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The candle quit his job
he felt burned out.
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I was asked at an interview what my weakness is. I replied "I'm too honest". The interviewer said "I don't consider honesty a weakness".
I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"
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Why was the Genie angry?
Because someone rubbed him the wrong way.
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The workweek is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says
WTF
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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