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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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I find that the only math I’m good at is..
adding insult to injury.
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My dad threw a cheese shredder at me and he missed
I ran away and he yelled at me: “get back here you ungrateful child”
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How do you steal a coat?
You jacket.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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