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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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What does a 6'5" butcher weigh?
Meat
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My wife just yelled at me, "You haven't listened to a single word I've said"
I thought that was a pretty odd way to start a conversation
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Give a man a plane ticket, he'll fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane, he'll fly for the rest of his life
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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