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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
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When I noticed “HI” in the alphabet, I thought someone was actually going to be my friend...
Then I saw the next two letters...
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A man woke up after a serious accident and he said “I can’t feel my legs!!”
The doctor said “I know you can’t, I’ve cut off your arms!
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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