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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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Rusty shows up late for work. The boss approaches him as he walks in. "You should've been here at 8:30!" he yells.
Rusty looks surprised. "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
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Today me and my wife caught our son burning down a house
We held each other's hand and said "that's arson"
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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