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Send me words of encouragement so I don't murder my boss.
There is no Netflix in prison.
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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
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If Jesus was the Lamb of God and Mary gave birth to Jesus..
..Then Mary had a little Lamb.
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"Dad can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
No sun.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
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