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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Officer "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Me ,"No, wait. I can explain everything!"
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My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.
I always see Himalayan there.
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I had a joke about meat substitutes
But it was too Quorny
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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