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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Officer "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Me ,"No, wait. I can explain everything!"
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Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
Because of her crash diet
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I ordered two large fries
and instead they just gave me a whole bunch of tiny little ones. This is bullshit.
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The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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