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Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck.
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When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I’m homeless.
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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