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No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
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My flat-earther friend started walking to the edge of the earth to prove that the earth is flat.
He finally came around.
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Why do most married men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
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Patient: Doc, I don't believe that peanuts are fattening.
Doctor: Well, have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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