The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

1

My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers.

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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

1

My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

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I've started investing in stocks...