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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
2
My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list
Now I can't read anything.
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My wife told me, “Don’t stress out if people keep calling you fat...”
..”You are much bigger than that.”
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I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,
"I guess our plans are squashed."
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1
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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