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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
4
My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
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My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
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I used to work at a calendar factory,
but I got fired for taking a couple days off.
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1
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Donohue. Donohue who?
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