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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
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Why did the cat run away from the tree?
Because of its bark
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My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.
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What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines
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Joke of the Day
A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
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