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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
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I have a parachute for sale
Used once, never opened
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My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
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I lost my voice today..
I can’t tell you how annoying it is.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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