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My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles
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What do you call ham that feels better?
Cured ham.
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Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
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Tech: Okay ma'am, do you see the button on the right-hand side of your mouse?
Caller: No, there's a printer and a phone on the right-hand side of my mouse.
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Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
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