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My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles
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Did you hear about the lazy baker who asked for a pay increase?
He really kneaded the dough.
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My son got good grades in all his classes except Greek Mythology
That's always been his Achilles Elbow
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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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