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My dad always told me there were two rules to be successful in any business.
First, never tell anyone everything you know
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Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
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What did the bystander say to the abusive farmer?
Stop beating your meat!
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What's the difference between a guitar, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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