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Mom bought me some camouflage cargo pants.
She will never see me in them.
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What's the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half.
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A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...
It said "Parking Fine"
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My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad I had to take his bike away.
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I'm not fat.
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