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Last week at the zoo, I saw a baguette in a cage.
It made me sad, because I knew it was bread in captivity.
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I couldn't decide whether my girlfriend was pretty, or ugly.
So I told her that she was pretty ugly.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
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Newscaster: Why did you relocate across the country?
Weatherman: Because the weather didn't agree with me.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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