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Jedi's make lousy spouses
They always threaten to use divorce.
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I think my iPhone's broken
I pressed the home button, but I'm still at work
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A bossy man goes into a bar.
He orders everyone a round.
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Me: Know what Thanos says when he finds a rotten fruit in his garden? My kids: Ugh.
"It is... Inedible"
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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