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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I saw an ad in a shop window, “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full”, I thought
“I can't turn that down.”
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I think i might be addicted to dough,
I don't just want it, I knead it.
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This one time, all the rooms in a hotel were booked. But then comes this one guy, who asks for a room, in the same hotel, and gets one easily.
Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.
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I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning
I noticed when my head hit the bottom of the mattress
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Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
He said "inflation".
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People in Athens hate getting up early
...because Dawn is tough on Greece.
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I couldn't decide whether my girlfriend was pretty, or ugly.
So I told her that she was pretty ugly.
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Parallel lines have so much in common.
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