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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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People who wear glasses must be excited for next year.
It's the first time they'll see 2020.
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Why is 19 afraid of 20?
Because they got in a fight once and 21.
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How do you break up a fight between two blind men?
Yell “My money’s on the one with the knife!”
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My friends keep telling me that I’m the worst mailman they’ve ever seen.
Shit. Meant to post this somewhere else .
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I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job.
"Which companies are after you?" my boss asked. "Gas, electric and cable" I responded.
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Today we tried teaching my six month old son how to hold things.
But he wasn’t grasping the concept.
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What do you call a wedding between two Russian people?
A Soviet Union.
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How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
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