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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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You were named after Adolf Hitler.
He was named first!
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Coach said I broke my arm in two places! What will I do?
-I wouldn't go back to those places, that's for sure!
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I left $100 in my suit jacket at the dry cleaners.
Unfortunately when I went to get it back, they were shut down for money laundering.
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You should send a picture of your ex to NASA.
Apparently they are desperate to get a photo of A hole that sucks all your time and energy.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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