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Why was the cow so aggressive?
It was in a bad mood.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
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Some guy came up to me and said, "I haven't gone to the bathroom in two weeks."
I said, "you're full of crap"
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In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry...
Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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