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Why is Ireland the biggest country in the world?
Because it keeps Dublin.
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
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What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
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What type of pictures do teeth take?
A toothpic
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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