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Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
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Broken bridges really annoy me.
I just can't get over them!
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?
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Me: Cortana, I definitely don't use any other virtual assistant.
Cortana: Are you Siri-ous?
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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