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Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
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I'll never forget the last thing that Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket:
"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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What do you call a man who can’t stand?
Neil.
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If a child refuses to go to sleep, is he resisting arrest?
No, he's avoiding a kidnapping.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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