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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
"Oh snap!"
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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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I got into bar fight and shoved a guy into a light switch on the wall.
He looked at me and said, “OH, ITS ON NOW!”
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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