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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,
"No, just leave it in the carton! "
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Why did the Mexican push two of his three children off a cliff?
He only wanted Juan.
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A man standing on a riverbank yells to a woman on the other side, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"
"You're already on the other side!"
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A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from her vegetarian resturaunt.
I was a bit confused, I'd never met herbivore.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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