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What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
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Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
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I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
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Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.
Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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