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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up?
A washing machine.
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I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
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I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent.
It goes without saying.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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