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What do you call two worms who are in love with each other?
Soilmates
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A friend of mine claims he can throw a stick 5 miles and his pet dog will retrieve it.
I think that's a bit far fetched.
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How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fifty. Three to die trying, one to actually pull it off, and 46 others to say, "Dude, I could do that!"
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?
Cop: It was a moving violation.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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