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3
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A Civil Serpent.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
Because it's just two-tired.
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I haven’t slept for three days
That would be too long
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Dad : “I need to call the doctor today.” Mom : “Which doctor?”
Dad : “No, the regular kind.”
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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