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What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
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You know what actually makes me smile?
My Facial muscles
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A new study found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to do it and two to tell him, "You're looking huge man, you're looking huge!"
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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