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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They're both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
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I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said "let's make this interesting"
so we stopped and went home.
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Someone asked Donald J Trump what the "J" stands for
He said, "it stands for 'Genius'."
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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